Friday, December 17, 2010

Chastity to curb masturbation

I was struck, recently, but a number of introductory threads, from new members, I've seen on a few different chastity forums I've read.  I've seen dozens like this, over the years.  They all start something like this.

... yada, yada, so I want to introduce a chastity play to my wife, because I have a bad masturbation habit that she doesn't even know about... yada, yada..  It will make me more attentive, yada, yada, I'll be ready when she wants me... yada, yada, she can take control .... yada, yada

To quote Kyle in South Park, "I call shenanigans!" 

I would argue that very few men who introduce chastity play into their relationships are doing so for altruistic reasons like "It's selfish for me to have orgasms without my wife."  We men are neither that generous, nor that complex.  We want to introduce chastity play because it turns us on!   It's really that simple.

As I've suggested before, Chastity is not Celibacy.  Very few men want celibacy.  We don't introduce chastity play because we want a less erotic life with our mates.  Quite the contrary, it's a kink.  It's spice.  It's a turn-on.  It's a rush.  It's something to make our sex life more exciting,  That's why we want it.

Now, all that said, I don't think the men who make these posts are liars, or being disingenuous.  Hell, my own conversation about it with my wife sounded much like the above.  I think two things are going on.  One: A lot of men have a great deal of trouble understanding or expressing their own feelings, and Two: They've read a lot of horse-shit on the internet.

So, this poor guy is turned on beyond belief by chastity, and he doesn't know how to open up to his partner about it. So, he obsesses, surfing the internet, looking for a way to "sell it" to his mate.  He starts reading, and reading, and reading.  The next thing he knows, his head is full of stories of submission, masturbation control, cuckholding, service, and the whole nine yards.  He thinks "Great, now I've got some good ammunition to make the pitch to my partner!"

What they end up pitching is what they read on the internet.  99% of the time, it's received as just what it was.  A load of crap.

So, allow me to propose another path.  How about we pitch this to our mates in a much simpler fashion.  Let's use some "I" statements, instead of "You" statements.  Be honest.  Don't try to tell her what she'll get out of it.  Tell her what YOU will get out of it.  "Honey, I've been reading chastity belt porn, and it turns me on like a randy 14 year old!  Can we buy one of these things and play?"  

If our partner is GGG and wants us to be happy, that may be all it takes.  We don't have to make promises about service, changed behavior or god knows what else.  All we have to promise is that "This sounds sexy and fun."  If you're partner isn't game to do something sexy and fun with you, a chastity device is not going to solve the problems in your relationship.  You should most likely work on those first, rather than clouding the matter.

No comments:

Post a Comment