Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Fixed vs non-fixed release dates - and should he know?

So, a topic I've seen discussed on many forums has been the issue of release dates.  Some real life couples prefer to set a fixed date that both parties know, and release will not happen until that date.  Other couples prefer to keep it more flexible.  Fixed dates are often decided by games of chance, or some other rules the couple decide upon, or perhaps even a negotiation or a bet.

The advantage of a "fixed date" system is that both parties know the date, and can set expectations accordingly.  Also, if the man knows he will not be released on a given day, there will probably be less whining / begging / carrying on, trying to influence his keyholder.  The keyholder can also assuage feelings of guilt.  "I don't have to feel guilty if I don't feel like it today.  It's not scheduled!"

Of course, the disadvantage of fixed dates is a certain loss of spontaneity.  The KH may be "in the mood" ahead of schedule, but may feel constrained by the pre-arranged date.  Likewise,  on the release date, perhaps the KH has a splitting headache, and would really rather defer.  This can lead to hard feelings and frustration if the wearer had built himself up into a sexual frenzy anticipating an imminent release.

Some of those issues can be relieved by using a fixed date, but simply not letting the wearer know when it is. One would hope he would remain on his best behavior, hoping that on the lucky day, the KH will make it a special treat.  On the KH side, there can be some flexibility.  A little white lie can cover up an early release, if the KH just has to have it!!!  On the flip side, if the KH isn't in the mood on the appointed day, perhaps surreptitiously letting it wait another day or two will make everything more enjoyable.

Of course, this just leads into the "Variable release date".  The wearer doesn't know when, and the date isn't fixed in the KH's mind.  Perhaps there's a target date, but based on the nature of the chastity relationship, perhaps things like behavior could influence the outcome.  Variable dates put more pressure on the keyholder to "choose wisely" to balance the tease and denial that the wearer desires, with a frequency that will keep both parties satisfied. Some keyholders, especially novices, don't like the pressure involved in choosing durations and keeping them a secret.  They feel a good deal of performance anxiety over it.

So what's the best solution for newbies to the chastity scene?  I'd suggest fixed dates, perhaps chosen by some random game you both want to try.  There are lots of them out there, using colored marbles, playing cards, dice, etc.   Start simple, with short durations.  Get comfortable with the expectations upon each of you.  Have fun with it.  As time goes on, your relationship may develop, and perhaps the rules will change.  So long as you're both having fun, you're obeying the only rule that matters!


Now, strictly from the "Wearer" perspective, I don't like to know when the release is coming.  I've actually been engaged in self-locking for a few months now, and I have a computer program that randomly determines the duration of the lockup.  I get a daily email that lets me know "It's Today!" or "Not Yet".   If "It's Today", I grant myself an unlimited number of orgasms for 24 hours, before starting over.   I enjoy that moment of suspense, each morning, when I open the email to see what may happen.  It also mirrors real life in other ways.  Some days, it's release day, and I'm not so horny.  Other times, I'm so horny I'm going out of my mind, and the "Not Yet" email instigates a frustrated groan.  It's the closest I can come to simulating what it might be like if my wife was into Keyholding.  Alas, she isn't.

1 comment:

  1. Very interesting blog. I, myself, can't relate to fixed date. I would much rather not know what the day may hold. As far as my KH (wife) goes, she can fix he date, play some game to determine if today is the day, or whatever she likes... I just don't want to know about it.

    My biggest problem is that I never seem to get enough teasing. I would rather be teased daily for weeks than have an orgasm.