Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Fixed vs non-fixed release dates - and should he know?
The advantage of a "fixed date" system is that both parties know the date, and can set expectations accordingly. Also, if the man knows he will not be released on a given day, there will probably be less whining / begging / carrying on, trying to influence his keyholder. The keyholder can also assuage feelings of guilt. "I don't have to feel guilty if I don't feel like it today. It's not scheduled!"
Of course, the disadvantage of fixed dates is a certain loss of spontaneity. The KH may be "in the mood" ahead of schedule, but may feel constrained by the pre-arranged date. Likewise, on the release date, perhaps the KH has a splitting headache, and would really rather defer. This can lead to hard feelings and frustration if the wearer had built himself up into a sexual frenzy anticipating an imminent release.
Some of those issues can be relieved by using a fixed date, but simply not letting the wearer know when it is. One would hope he would remain on his best behavior, hoping that on the lucky day, the KH will make it a special treat. On the KH side, there can be some flexibility. A little white lie can cover up an early release, if the KH just has to have it!!! On the flip side, if the KH isn't in the mood on the appointed day, perhaps surreptitiously letting it wait another day or two will make everything more enjoyable.
Of course, this just leads into the "Variable release date". The wearer doesn't know when, and the date isn't fixed in the KH's mind. Perhaps there's a target date, but based on the nature of the chastity relationship, perhaps things like behavior could influence the outcome. Variable dates put more pressure on the keyholder to "choose wisely" to balance the tease and denial that the wearer desires, with a frequency that will keep both parties satisfied. Some keyholders, especially novices, don't like the pressure involved in choosing durations and keeping them a secret. They feel a good deal of performance anxiety over it.